


Not like this

by b0o



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Adultery, Cheating, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 08:16:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12272463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b0o/pseuds/b0o
Summary: Kaneki loves Hide, but is still married to Touka.





	Not like this

**Author's Note:**

> Uploaded from tumblr.

It was surreal to Kaneki to have Hide back in his life and he found that he wanted to spend as much time as he could with the other. No one could say this was odd, after all Hide was his best friend and so it their time together went unremarked. 

Even when there were other people in the room Kaneki tended to gravitate towards Hide and Touka merely watched as he did so, after all she reasoned she would do the same if it was Yoriko, yet there was still a bitter taste when she saw it. 

After one such day Hide tried to talk to Kaneki in private, “listen man, I love hanging out with you man but I think you’re starting to ignore Touka. You know your wife that’s pregnant with your baby.”

This had caught Kaneki off guard and after thinking about realized Hide was right, “you’re right, I should spend time with her.” It felt odd to the ghoul that he found the prospect unappealing but he ignored it and exited the room to find the one he was vowed to.

After the meeting Kaneki tried to spend time with Touka, to ask how she was and listen to her problem, yet when he was with her he only thought about what the blonde might be doing and paid little attention to her. 

After a few days Touka stopped telling him what she was really and merely gave short answers until Kaneki deemed it enough time together and left to find his friend, and Touka would watch him go.

Kaneki saw no problem in the current situation until Hide began questioning him about her, “how’s Touka doing? We don’t talk much but she’s starting to look a little rough. Is it the pregnancy? How is the pregnancy going?”  
Immediately Kaneki’s smile dropped and he tried to picture the women in his mind to see if she really was looking different, “I don’t know.” Hide rose an eyebrow, “so she doesn’t like ask you to rub her feet or get her weird stuff?” 

Kaneki shook his head, “no, she hasn’t asked for anything like that.” Hide pursed his lips together  in silent thought before giving an easy smile, “guess there will be plenty of time for that later in the pregnancy.”

Kaneki nodded and was silently relieved when they started to talk about their previous topic, though why the conversation had made him uneasy was a mystery to him. It wasn’t until later, when Touka was on top of him and he felt nothing for their current activity did he realize what was wrong. 

He wanted Hide, not just in a platonic way but sexually as well, he felt nothing when Touka leaned down to kiss him but the moment he envisioned Hide he felt heat rush downwards. 

Afterwards, when he and Touka were lying in bed together, he made sure the other was asleep before leaving the small room in search of the blonde. Finding him working on a map, Kaneki cleared his throat to inform the other of his presence.

“Yo, Kaneki you look like you had fun.” The blonde said this with a grin and Kaneki realized how he must look, ignoring that he motioned for the other. 

“Hide can you come here for a second.” Obediently Hide got up and walked over to the half-ghoul, “what’s wrong? Did Touka kick you-” He was cut off by lips crashing into his and it took him a moment to pull away.

“What was that!?” His voice was a loud whisper and he quickly looked around with wide eyes, Kaneki on the other hand touched his lips as if to somehow feel the heat from the kiss.

“I want you, Hide.” Hide stared at him with a mixture of emotions before shaking his head, “we can’t, you can’t. You’re married! She’s also pregnant with your baby! Look I don’t know what you two fought about but I’m sure you can work it out.”

As he was talking Kaneki crept closer to him and Hide backed away until his back hit the wall, Kaneki cupped his face and went in for another kiss while his other hand went between the blonde’s legs.

“I want you, I want to hear you moan my name and I want to see your face when you climax. I want to be inside of you, Hide, want to feel you move around me.” 

Hide tried to say something but when Kaneki stroked his member tenderly it came out as a low moan that had Kaneki’s heart beating hard. “Try to be quite, we can’t let the others hear.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
After that day Hide tried to avoid both Kaneki and Touka, not being able to meet their eyes and feeling guilty for letting it happen. Yet despite his best efforts he was still cornered by Kaneki, “please stop avoiding me.” 

Hide felt his breath hitch at the raw emotion the man’s voice held, “I’m sorry but, what we did isn’t right. It’s partly my fault for letting it get so out of hand but the fact remains that you’re married. Touka’s a good person, she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.” 

Kaneki looked down, “I know that but, I want you.” Hide shook his head, “what do you want from me? Sex? Because if that’s it then-” 

“No! It’s not just about the sex, it’s about you. You’re the one I love and you’re the one that makes me feel safe.” His voice cracked at the end and Hide couldn’t help but pull him into a hug, “do you still love her?” 

Kaneki leaned into the hug but stayed silent for a minute, “I don’t know.” Hide closed his eyes and nodded, “she deserves better. You deserve better. If you’re unhappy then you should break it off with her.” The words felt wrong to Hide and just as Kaneki was about to agree he shook his head.

“No you can’t. She’s still pregnant and if you loved her at some point then maybe you will again.” He took a deep breath and hated the words he was about to say, “until then, maybe this is just a phase that you’ll get over and that will be the end of that.”

Kaneki nodded, though he doubted that his love for Hide was just a phase. He pulled Hide in for a quick kiss and smiled at the other, “I love you.” Hide felt sick to his stomach for letting things get to this point, but he nodded. “I feel the same way.” He had once dreamed of the day Kaneki would confess to him, yet it felt bittersweet now. 

After they separated Kaneki went back to Touka, and Hide wondered what would happen now. Touka for her part noticed the shift in her husband, while before he was distant now he was just gone and her heart ached when she woke up alone in their bed.

She began to note the way he acted when he was with her, however rare that may be, and felt something in her crack at seeing him with a permanent frown. It didn’t matter what she said or did, the most he gave her was a small smile and for a moment she wondered if he just lost the ability to smile the way he used to. 

That is until she was walking by and heard him laughing, she had been curious and had gone to investigate when she saw him laughing harder than he had in years. The reason was sitting next to him, laughing at his own joke and Touka felt it hard to deal with the fact that Hide was the only one who could make him smile.

A part of her hoped that it would get better when Hide went on his mission, an action that Kaneki violently disapproved of when Hide first told them, and although it sickened her to think it, she hoped he wouldn’t come back.

Every time to thought came up she squashed it, but it persisted along with the hope that Kaneki would come clean to her and beg for forgiveness while stating his undying love for her. Though she knew that they were all childish dreams and after Hide left Kaneki began pacing.

He also began to snap at people and when they lost contact with Hide, he stopped eating altogether in favor of pacing and staring at the phone. Yet Touka still had some faint hope that he would come back to her, and it grew brighter when Kaneki began sleeping in bed with her. 

However, she still awoke to an empty bed each day and when one day she saw the ring she had entrusted to him sitting on the dresser, her hope dwindled. Finally Hide returned and Touka felt disgusted at herself when seeing him brought about disappointment, though that was forgotten quickly. 

When Kaneki saw Hide he walked unsteadily towards him before fully running and holding the other in his arms, the blonde tried disparately to get out of the grip. 

“Kaneki, Touka’s right there she’ll see.” Kaneki silenced him with a kiss and Hide felt guilt seep out and a warm tear dripped down at the unfairness of it all, “Touka, I’m so sorry.”

Sorry that he let this happen this way, and sorry he was so in love to a married man. When Kaneki kissed him again he tried to shut out the sounds of sniffling coming from the women. 

At seeing the two Touka felt everything come down and it wasn’t until she found it hard to breath did she know she was crying, her knees felt weak and she sunk to the floor and hugged herself. 

Despite the pain however, she found it impossible to look away from the scene in front of her and wondered what went wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you all think.


End file.
